


Joker teaches the world to fap

by Hitlertheduck



Category: Joker (2019), ZTV News (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, This fic will make you cream yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:27:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29459757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hitlertheduck/pseuds/Hitlertheduck
Summary: An alternate ending to Joker (2019) where Joker appears on ZTV News instead of the Franklin Murray Show. I'm not legally responsible if you get pregnant from reading this story.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Joker teaches the world to fap

It was a bright and sunny day in the ZTV News studio. Zone-Tan took a deep breath. The ZTV News show was about to begin and she had to be ready to greet the audience like she usually did. 

The cameras then began rolling and Zone-Tan perked up before doing her usual intro. “Greetings and salutations my little zonelings, today, we’re going to skip over the questions and just go straight into our interview with our special guest.” 

The purple clad mascot then pulled out papers featuring details on their new guest and continued “he’s an aspiring comedian and has recently gained some notoriety due to previous clips of him that you’ve probably already seen. We humbly present, Joker.” 

A door to the ZTV News studio opened up and the audience began to clap as the clown prince of crime entered through the door. Joker began dancing an elegant dance while his red suit glistened in the light of the ZTV News studio. He continued dancing all the way through until he eventually reached his dark green armchair next to Zone-Tan's and sat down with the queen of hentai in the most flashy and showy way possible. 

The gothic hentai mascot just grinned and said “that’s quite an entrance you’ve got there” 

Arthur just sat there in complete silence. He stood there like a statue in a museum until Zone-Tan broke the silence with “well, do you actually have anything to say?” 

Joker took a deep breath and responded with “yeah it’s just, this is exactly how I imagined it” 

Zone-Tan's smile faltered and her left eye began to twitch, but she maintained her composure and said “well that’s good to hear, so Joker, you’re an aspiring stand-up comedian, so why don’t you tell our audience one of your jokes?” 

Arthur just abruptly said “ok” 

Joker then pulled out his black notebook and began searching through his book for the perfect witticism and while he did that, Zone-Tan was contemplating her life choices that lead to her being here. 

Arthur continued skimming through his notebook until, at long last, he had finally found the perfect joke for the show. “Knock knock” 

Zone-Tan visibly gagged at that tired old phrase, before swallowing her pride and responding with “who’s there?” 

Joker then smiled a toothy smile before saying “it's the police mam, your son’s been hit by a drunk driver, he’s dead.” 

Zone-Tan's smile faded away and she just asked “and what? He’s dead and then the mom violated the police man with her tentacles?” 

Now it was Joker’s turn to quit smiling and say “that’s all” clearly not getting the reaction he was expecting. 

As Zone-Tan was trying her best not to lose her shit, Joker continued with “sorry, it’s been a rough couple of weeks, ever since I killed those 3 Wall Street guys” 

The audience just remained silent at hearing that statement, while Zone-Tan just seemed mildly amused by what Arthur had just confessed to everyone. 

“Wow Joker, that was actually a funny joke. You might have a career in comedy yet” complimented Zone-Tan as her mischievous grin returned to her face. 

Arthur then decided to be a complete dickhead and ruin the moment with “Zone-Tan, it’s not a joke” 

The hentai mascot just frowned and said “oh, and why should I believe someone who looks like Ronald McDonald’s cum rag committed murder?” 

Joker ignored that surprisingly hurtful statement and said “because I’ve got nothing left to lose, my life is simply a comedy.” 

Zone-Tan couldn’t believe what she was hearing but her curiosity got the best of her and she continued “so you honestly believe that killing those three men was actually funny?” 

Joker then responded with “I do, and I’m tired of pretending it's not” 

The goth girl answered him with “wow you’ve got a terrible sense of humor, it’s no wonder that you failed as a comedian if this is what passes as comedy to you. You probably think Full House is the peak of comedy too dontcha?” 

It was becoming harder and harder for Joker to contain his urges, but he managed to contain his rage at the goth girl and continued speaking. “Comedy is subjective Zone-Tan, isn’t that what they say?” 

Joker then gestured towards the audience and continued his monologue. ”All of you, the system that knows so much, you decide what’s right or wrong. The same way that you decide what’s funny or not.” 

Zone-Tan swore quietly to herself before prying a bit further and asking “So why’d you kill those three guys? Did they not like your Krusty the Klown cosplay? 

Joker just sneered at her and said “I killed those guys because they were awful. Everybody is awful these days, it’s enough to make anyone crazy. 

“So you’re saying that the only reason you only killed those guys is because you’re crazy? Jesus, the more you speak, the more you sound like a DeviantArt OC” said Zone-Tan without even realizing the irony of her own quip. 

Joker just said “Nope, I killed them because they couldn’t carry a tune to save their lives.” 

After hearing that statement, the audience then began booing Arthur furiously while Joker just got more pissed off and said “why is everybody so upset about these guys? If it were me dying on the sidewalk then you’d walk right over me. I pass you every day and you don’t notice me but just because Thomas Wayne went and cried about them on TV?” 

Zone-Tan just calmly asked him “so you’ve got a problem with Thomas Wayne too?” 

“Yes, I do. Have you seen what it’s like out there Zone-Tan? Do you ever actually leave the studio?” sarcastically asked Arthur. 

Zone-Tan was about to say something, but Arthur cut her off and continued with “everyone just yells and screams at each other, nobody’s civil anymore. Nobody ever thinks about what it’s like to be the other guy” said Joker passionately. 

Joker then calmed down and said in an almost pleading tone, “do you ever think that people like Thomas Wayne, ever think what it’s like to be someone like me? To be somebody but themselves, they don’t. They think we’ll just sit there and take it like good little boys. That we won’t werewolf and go wild.” 

Zone-Tan just sighed and said “Are you done? It sounds like you’re jerking yourself off so hard we might need to get taken off the air due to censorship reasons.” 

“You’re awful Zone-Tan" said Joker 

“Yup pretty much” said Zone-Tan 

“Playing my video, inviting me on the show, you just wanted to make fun of me” said Joker with bitter contempt in his voice 

“Yeah, and I think I’m doing a pretty good job if I do say so myself” said Zone-Tan. 

Joker ignored her and continued “You’re just like the rest of them “ 

“Well, if the rest of the population shares my love of tentacles, then I suppose the world isn’t so bad after all” said Zone-Tan 

Joker had gotten fed up with Zone-Tan's insults and wanted to end this now “how about another joke Zone-Tan?” 

“No, the Holocaust is funnier than you” said Zone-Tan 

“What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that ABANDONS HIM AND TREATS HIM LIKE TRASH?” exclaimed Joker 

Zone-Tan opened her mouth to speak but Joker wouldn’t have it “I’LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU GET, YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE!” 

Joker then reached into his pocket, pulled out his pistol, and shot Zone-Tan square in the face. 

Joker began laughing harder than he ever had in his life. He continued laughing for what seemed like an eternity until he noticed something peculiar. 

Zone-Tan was still sitting upright! 

Zone-Tan began facing the Joker once again and Arthur looked at her with pure existential horror. She’d caught the golden colored bullet in between her teeth! 

Arthur was so taken aback by this that he dropped his gun to the ground like a complete dipshit. 

The hentai mascot spit the bullet out and looked at Arthur with a stare of pure of ferocity before she began marching towards him and saying “just ONCE, I’d like to do a normal goddamn interview but it seems like that’s nothing more than a pipedream.” 

Arthur began backing away from the goth girl but Zone-Tan wouldn’t allow him to get away, not after an act like that. 

Zone-Tan leaped forwards and tackled Arthur just as he was about to make a break for the exit. She then ripped Arthur’s clothes off at the speed of light, turned to the audience, and said “the interview is already spoiled so might as well make the best of it right?” 

The audience began cheering harder than they ever had in their lives. 

Joker was now completely naked and unable to escape from the wrath of Zone-Tan. He tried struggling but it was no use. Zone-Tan just stripped down to nothing and told him “pathetic, but I’ll make due.” 

As Zone-Tan began riding the Joker’s cock, Dave just screamed “CUT TO COMMERCIAL ALREADY!” 

The Broadcast then immediately cutoff and an episode of the Free Willy cartoon series played in its place and honestly I don’t even know which is worse.


End file.
